Bastard Out of Carolina - the Afterword

Dear Readers,

Let me start off by saying I really enjoyed this book.  It is enlightening and useful to me to read about family life in different parts of the globe as well in the next town.  Things often don't seem so big a deal if kept in perspective.  When I am complaining or something doesn't go right my youngest son says: 'Wow Mom, that's a first world problem!'  Kind of puts reality into perspective.  I think that is why its good to read books about other ways of life, cultures, and situations that are foreign to me.  I am not a history buff, in fact that was one course I had to repeat in college however reading novels about historical time fascinate me.  

The abuse in this book is horrific.  It can compare to Angela's Ashes, Little Bee, Henrietta Lacks or many others we have read.  Think about the keeping of the child in The Light Between the Oceans and how horrible losing your child would be only to find out she wasn't dead but 'adopted' by someone else.  While my heart wrenches at abuse I can only be disheartened at the mother's ignorance of it and how she allowed it to go on.  As a momma bear I cannot imagine letting someone beat me child.  Do you think that is a maturity issue?  Anney was too young to have developed a mother's instinct? I am getting on a soapbox for a bit here.  Take the case of 12 year old Brooke Bennet (Braintree, VT) who was sexually abused and murdered by her convicted of sexual child abuse uncle.  Brook's mother allowed her to go with the uncle.  What?  How can this be?  He murdered Brooke in 2008 and has yet to stand trial.  What?  How can this be?  Why isn't the mother out there fighting for justice for her daughter?  How can this be? The mother was charged with nothing!  How can this be? (http://www.wcax.com/Global/category.asp?C=142153      I hate that this happens in books and in real life

Step down from soapbox! ;)

Here is my big irritation of this book:  According to Wikipedia, 

An afterword is a literary device that is often found at the end of a piece of literature. ^[1] It generally covers the story of how the book came into being, or of how the idea for the book was developed.

Alternatively, it may be written by someone other than the author of the book to provide enriching comment, such as discussing the work's historical or cultural context (especially if the work is being reissued many years after its original publication).

Most of Allison's afterword is a description of her life in relation to the book.  I can understand that.  As the author you want people to understand your perspective a bit of the history that brought you there.  Great, that suffices that the author has first hand experience on the books events from her personal life.  But then she gets preachy and tells us how to think about the book and events about society.  'I want the society in which I live to be clear about the reality of our families; to know all the ways in which we avoid the issues of violence, abuse, and societal contempt; and to see survivors as more than victims   If we know more about what it means to survive abuse, we will be better able to help those still caught in the whole shameful secret world of physical and sexual violence'. Well, if you didn't say it in the book (which I think she did very well) why do you have to say it afterward?  Dorothy, we heard you in the book!  I would hazard a guess that if 'society' tried to do something about the abuse suffered by Bone, she and her mother would have denied all and continued in their desperate situation. my cheers go out to the uncles who gave Daddy Glen only half of what he deserved.  

Ouch - harsh!

Happy Reading Ya'll,

Barbara

Anger was like a steady drip of poison ....

Hello again dear Readers,

Back to our discussion of Bastard out of Carolina.

'Anger was like a steady drip of poison .... into my soul teaching me to hate.'  This comes from Chapter 18 when Bone was glaring at the neighbors - it really didn't matter what color they were, it was someone new to be angry at and to hate.  Aunt Raylene seemed to be a Godsend to Bone to help her keep perspective and guide her into a direction of positivity.  Walk a mile in their shoes before you are glaring at people is what she seemed to say.

In the last chapter the wish of every human:  'We had all wanted the simplest thing, to love and be loved and be safe together'.  Then  the desertion.  Who could possibly live a normal life after experiencing this desertion.  Why do we read books like this?  Is it to make us feel more 'normal'?  Is it to make us feel accepting of our own shortcomings?

I have one additional comment about this book but it will wait until next week.

If you would like to read more about the author you can check out this article on Wikipedia.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dorothy_Allison

Happy Reading,
Barbara

Sticks and Stones will break my bones ......

Hello Everyone,

During the beginning of this book my mind kept swaying to the childhood rhyme.  According to Wikipedia:

"Sticks and Stones" is an English language children's rhyme. It persuades the child victim of name-calling to ignore the taunt, to refrain from physical retaliation, and to remain calm and good-natured. It is reported^[1] to have appeared in The Christian Recorder of March 1862, a publication of the African Methodist Episcopal Church, where it is presented as an "old adage" in this form:

Sticks and stones will break my bones
But words will never harm me.

The phrase also appeared in 1872, where it is presented as advice in Tappy's Chicks: and Other Links Between Nature and Human Nature, by Mrs. George Cupples.^[2] The version used in that work runs:

Sticks and stones may break my bones
But names will never hurt me.

This sentiment is reflected in/reflects the common law of civil assault, which holds that mere name-calling does not give rise to a cause of action, while putting someone in fear of physical violence does.

Now we can all relate to the news today with people calling each other names and carrying on in public like our mother's would say: like a bunch of hoodlums.  However Anney just couldn't get over the designation for her daughter as 'bastard' and strove to clear it off her birth certificate.  Do you have any designations that 'bother' you?  I was always put off by the term 'housewife'.  It bothered me.  I guess there are worse things to be called but even up to today our tax return has the designation 'Family Manager' instead. Somehow words can be harmful to our sense of worth if you let them.  

Uncle Earl was a savior to Bone in my estimation.  He was a philosopher who supported his family but couldn't get his own life together.  Here is a quote: It's the way of things. one day you're all family together, fighting and hugging from one moment to the next and then it's all gone.  You're off making your own family, scared of what's coming next and Lord, things have a way of running faster and faster all the time.

I loved it when Bone got 'religion'!  She wanted to sing like Patsy Cline, Loretta Lynn, etc.  'More than anything in the world I decided I wanted to be one of the little girls in white fringed vests with silver and gold embroidered crosses -  the ones who sang on the revival circuit.  .......There had to be a way to stretch my voice, to sing the way I dreamed I could."  That girl was 'Making a joyful Noise!'  That is so me and I'll be so many of you!  Deep in our hearts we are the best singers in the world but... alas, we are usually off key and couldn't really sing for our suppers.

Here's one more societal question for you:  When Bone decided to 'take the hook and chain to bed, etc.' I was a little confused but then I thought about all those young people today who wear chains and chain accessories and wonder if it is for emotional safety and control when they don't feel like they have any?  Personally I would find it difficult to sleep with metal like that.

How did you like this book?  I'll be back in a week or so with some additional comments.

Happy Reading,

Barbara

April Showers bring May Flowers!

Hello and Happy April Fool's Day Readers!

Of course when I post this I have no idea when it actually gets posted so it may be a day or two late but so far, April Fool's Day is going fine for me.

The new Book of the Month will be:
The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen.  I saw this book on Debbie's book shelf and had been wanting to read it.  I will tell you that the first 100 pages are all over the board and very descriptive.  I am reading in 'hard copy' so I must read fast to give dear husband a chance to read it before I leave for Colorado at the end of the month.

Be back soon with some discussion on Bastard!

Happy Reading,
Barbara